in the living room

I went on my annual silent retreat a few weeks ago. I've been going on silent retreats for about 4 years now and they have been wonderful for me - especially in this season of life with littles. Silence is such a fruitful spiritual discipline, but unfortunately not a luxury that toddler moms are afforded very often! If you ever get the chance to go on a silent retreat, please do it! Three days of slow, quiet prayer are like chicken soup for the soul. But admittedly, I also felt a little convicted this year. I felt convicted that perhaps my desire for retreat was more about escaping my chaotic, loud living room than it was about genuinely seeking God's heart in prayer. Of course, I know in my heart that my living room is where I'm most deeply formed. The chaos of the days and the serving my family is where God is squeezing the selfishness out of me and making me into the person God needs me to be. Ronald Rohlheiser's little book Domestic Monastery sits in my living room and I try to read through it often to remind me that the domestic life is a form of the monastic life. He writes, "If you are home alone with small children whose needs give you little uninterrupted time, then you don’t need an hour of private prayer daily. Raising small children, if it is done with love and generosity, will do for you exactly what private prayer does.” I think he might be on to something. But this is true for you too. Not just in your living room or with kids, per se, but in the daily grind of your life - getting dressed, making meals, going to work - this is where we are learning how to have faith. This is where we are learning how to experience God. Heaven forbid I reduce the experience of God to Sunday worship or an hour of private prayer and forget that He is present in all of our coming and goings (and changing diapers). I've been reading Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard lately. (Is there anything more like me than reading who is considered the 'father of modern existentialism'?!) He makes a few profound statements about the living room that I've been chewing on:

"The speaker who does not know how the task [of faith] looks in daily life and in the living-room might just as well keep still, for Sunday glimpses into eternity lead to nothing but wind.... And it is -

in the living room that the battle must be fought, lest the religious conflict degenerate into a parade of the guard once a week;

in the living room must the battle be fought, not fantastically in the church, so that the clergyman is fighting windmills and the spectators watch the show;

in the living room the battle must be fought, for the victory consists precisely in the living-room becoming a sanctuary."

You don't need to escape from your life or get to a church building or another giant conference to experience the presence of God (though those can certainly be helpful). The reality of life is that the presence of God is in your living room waiting for you. Our primary task is simply to tune in. :)